A Christmas Holiday Break with Mother

Christmas Day was very quiet this year, with just Mother, my husband and self present. We thought children and great grand children were coming, but they decided to leave earlier so as not to miss their camping spot at an East Coast Beach. My other two sons were having Christmas with their wife’s side of the family. We were disappointed, but the plus side was less work and effort was required for the day. It turned out to be a pleasantly relaxed Christmas. My husband cooked a turkey and leg of lamb, as he usually insists on doing. . .more suited to the Northern hemisphere cold, I thought, but appreciated this was his thing that he liked to do every year, regardless of hot summer temperatures. (A tradition brought out by early settlers from the Northern hemisphere).

Mother was funny when I first told her we were having turkey. “Turkey!” she said screwing her nose up. “I don’t like them!” “Have you ever eaten it?” I asked. “No,” she answered, “I’ve never eaten any, but I don’t like them! They’re awful, they wear black clothes . . horrible things!” she said screwing her nose up again and shuddering. I wondered if she had a traumatic turkey encounter as a child and asked her. She told me she had seen some once in Blenheim, but didn’t remember anything else, just that they were scary horrible things. Mother eventually decided to try turkey after a support worker told her it was similar to chicken. Of course, having a sweet tooth, she loved the desert which included traditional pavlova with strawberries and cream topping.

The day after Christmas, we decided to travel up the Coast to visit the kids and see how their camping was. It was a trial to see if we could take Mother camping. The trip took 40 minutes, which mother said was too long. The beach was beautiful, white sand and blue sky, with the peaceful rhythmic sound of waves crashing and rolling onto the shore. The kid’s camp was on an elevated grassy spot above the beach with a fantastic view. We had taken fresh bread, tomatoes, cucumber, lettuce and ham for lunch, which we all enjoyed. Afterwards  my husband and son walked off down the beach to go fishing, while mother and I stayed with my daughter-in-law, enjoying the 2yr old and almost 4 yr old grand-daughters, who excitedly kept us entertained. After a while mother looked sleepy, so we helped her onto the large double sized blow-up bed for a rest. It was difficult getting her back onto her feet afterwards, but we managed, and she managed the chemical toilet OK, but found the ground uneven for walking, even with her walker. It took a bit of effort in assisting mother in the different surroundings and we were ready to go home after a few hours. The trip home seemed longer for mother and she decided that it was too far to go again. Anything over 30minutes long seems to be to far for mother these days.

After a couple of days home, we were pleased to hear mother’s youngest son and his wife were coming to stay. Mother was excited. It was great to have them present and mother constantly smiled with pleasure. Mother announced that she always used to stay up with her mother to wait the New Year in. We decided to do the same with her, but at 8:30pm, mother suddenly announced she was off to bed and had lost interest in seeing the New Year in. “It was silly” were her words as I settled her for bed.

Our city always had a New Year’s Day fireworks display which I thought may be of more interest for mother the next day.  With the extra hands to assist, I suggested that we take mother for a walk up the path beside my home to see the New Year’s Day fire-works that were held in the evening nearby. Mother was wrapped up warm and we walked her to the spot, then she sat on her walker to watch the display, which happened just along the river, where two river’s meet. From where we were the reflection of the fireworks could be seen in the river, as well as above it, as our spot looked down the river towards the venue. Further down the river banks were crammed full of spectators and a band was keeping them entertained as we awaited the darkness required for a good display, which was later in the summer in NZ (9:30pm).

Mother loved the display and was excited like a child throughout. As soon as we assisted her walk home though, mother went straight to bed, exhausted but happy. The next morning mother was up ready to go somewhere, so we took her shopping for new shoes she wanted. I noticed mother beaming at everyone she came across as we escorted her into the shop. I think she felt special and proud having more family with her. That afternoon, we took mother to visit another son and his wife, who live locally.

It was later at dinner time I found mother changing her patterns.  A sign, I realised, her LBD symptoms were resurfacing. We‘d had almost a week free of the worst. This particular night Mother became unreasonable about a table knife  she decided was hers and insisted on taking it to her room, where she would hide it. I knew the routine, as we had been around this circuit before. I immediately wondered if mother had been drinking enough water in the hot 27-32^o C temperatures. Mother later, insisted on wearing PJ’s under her night gown, on a hot night! I went with the flow, and kept alert for more activity. Later, as expected, in the middle of the night I found Mother up sitting on the side of her bed, confused and talking about a bill a man said she had to pay. She had been hallucinating, so I guided her that nothing could be done about it till morning, and she let me resettle her in bed. Mother appeared OK the next morning, though tired and not quite herself. I guess all the excitement had it’s toll, but the pleasure mother gained from the week was worth it. Luckily the symptoms settled after a couple of days back in her normal routine.

Mother and her Cataract Surgery

Mother has been on the waiting list for surgery. She was quite impatient to have this done as her eyes had deteriorated to not being able to read the eye chart, only see three fingers held up in front of her, with the worst eye on her last examination. Well the day finally arrived.

I got Mother up and showered her early, as we had to be at the hospital by 07:30am. We went to the ward for day surgery and waited, as preparatory eye drops were intermittently inserted.  The risks had been discussed with her G.P., Mother and myself. (She was a general anaesthetic risk). It was important that she have surgery for quality of life as reading and watching TV were important past-times. At present seeing TV was even becoming blurred. Mother was last on the morning list, and became anxious about falling asleep on the table, as we waited. The surgery was to be performed under Local Anaesthetic and the decision to go ahead depended on Mother's ability to stay awake and very still as instructed. Mother was worried because she often fell asleep in the mornings, and if she did, would forget where she was and wake jumping and flailing about with fright!

I became concerned as I saw mother beginning to doze off while sitting waiting in the Day Ward chair. "She hadn't slept much the night before", I remembered. After a while I asked one of the nurses if Mother could have a bed to lay down on. This was not the normal routine for the Cataract surgery patients. They usually sat in chairs, then were wheeled to surgery and back in a wheel chair. Fortunately the nurse was obliging and mother was put onto a bed, where she immediately went off into a deep sleep. Being last on the list was working out well because Mother was now spending her waiting time having her morning nap. 

I woke Mother as time to go approached. Made sure she toileted so Mother could relax without worrying about that. She had taken her usual medication early and I knew the diuretic would have acted as she slept. (Important so she wouldn't get heart failure laying flat for the procedure).  Mother was wheeled on her bed to the Operating Theatre and provision had already been made for me to attend, (dressed in a theatre gown). Praise God, I had two months previously been asked to do holiday relief in Theatre PACU (Recovery) and was working there at the time of Mother's Surgery (I did thankfully have her Surgery day off though)! My faith told me He had gone before us preparing the way for Mother.

The Theatre staff were wonderfully supportive. Mother was assisted onto the table and there was a place made for me to sit and hold her hand. Mother was draped with oxygen being feed under the drapes to assist her. The "handsome young surgeon" (Mother's description) spoke reassuringly to her throughout the procedure. The eye was anaesthetised. Mother kept very still and focused throughout. The procedure went well, with Mother's clouded lens scraped out under the microscope and a prosthetic lens implanted in it's place. The surgeon announced he had completed and the procedure went well. Mother's eye was dressed. The drapes were removed and I lent over to tell Mother we were finished. She beamed at everyone and I took her home to recover.

I don't know what zone Mother had entered during surgery because the next morning she told me that when I lent over and to tell her it was finished, Mother was thinking to herself "that's my daughter and she's all grown up. Old now . . like a mother"!!!! I'm just glad she didn't say it out loud before my colleagues.

Mother had her eye dressing removed and examination first thing the morning after surgery. Praise the Lord, instant improvement! Mother can now read three quarters of the eye chart without glasses with that eye. She is very pleased. Blessings to all those involved.