Mother's dementia has been reasonably stable and the focus has been on managing her heart failure which fluctuates daily. I found myself thinking Mother's physical problems were worse than her dementia. The reality that I cannot take anything for granted was brought home to me one morning with a sharp wake-up.
One day last week, Mother was up at 5am and was her usual bright self when I assisted her. Mother said she had been "travelling all over the place" (in her dreams) chuckling as she walked to the toilet, then on return was resettled, happy to have more sleep. Mother woke three hours later, and after her support carer (m) arrived to assist with showering her, Mother worriedly confided that she didn't know who she was. Telling (m) that she knew she lived with people who cared for her, but didn't know who they were. On questioning, Mother knew she had two daughters, but didn't know where they were. She did not recognise me when (m) came and got me.
I was shocked, but calmly sat and listened, filling in the missing bits as Mother talked. She eventually recognised her head was all mixed up and as the morning went on, Mother's memory gradually cleared enough to recognise I was her daughter by lunch time. I guess this is the first of more episodes to come as her dementia deteriorates. I shared this event with another friend whose mother had Alzheimer's. She said that they prayed their mother would never forget who they were, and their prayers were answered. Although deteriorating, till death a year ago, my friend said her mother always remembered her children. I resolved to pray and hope for the same blessing.
I was shocked, but calmly sat and listened, filling in the missing bits as Mother talked. She eventually recognised her head was all mixed up and as the morning went on, Mother's memory gradually cleared enough to recognise I was her daughter by lunch time. I guess this is the first of more episodes to come as her dementia deteriorates. I shared this event with another friend whose mother had Alzheimer's. She said that they prayed their mother would never forget who they were, and their prayers were answered. Although deteriorating, till death a year ago, my friend said her mother always remembered her children. I resolved to pray and hope for the same blessing.
Since that episode, it was a joy to walk in one morning to be greeted by Mother as normal. Then she said "you are my lovely baby daughter. Do you remember when you were a baby and we had an outside toilet. Father would hit you hard for wetting your naps?" I said "how could I? If I was in naps, I was too young! I'm glad I don't remember that!" We both laughed.
